So here we go.....a little vent for you!
In the scheme of Eternity, how much does Owen having Down sydrome matter?
Since Owen has been born I have been told repeatedly what a challenge his life will be and how sorry people are that we are going through what we are going through. Before I offend someone let me first say that I know people only mean well and are not sure what to say to me or us sometimes. For goodness sake, 6 weeks ago I might have been the same way.
But here are my thoughts on the matter. Never has God promised any of us that our lives on the earth would be easy. He has always promised he would give us what we needed to get through it. Since Owen has been born I have felt more peace in my life than ever before, there is no explanation for this but I am so thankful for it! Owen will have a visit from Early On tomorrow afternoon. Here begins the journey of therapy. Of achievements that might have come easy for Paige and Blake will probably take longer for Owen. Is this bad? Not to me. Is it sad? Not to me. Is it something to feel sorry for us about? Please don't! It is DIFFERENT! Yes Owen's life will be different. But let's look at it this way, Paige's life is and will be different than Blake's and Owen's will be different that both of theirs. But is different bad? Not to me. The journey we are just getting started on with Owen will be his journey. He will bring new things to the table in our family. He will need extra help but what else is family for than to help the people that we love?
So in the scheme of eternity how much does Down syndrome matter? It doesn't and it does all at once. I keep reminding myself that this is not something God is doing to us but is something God is giving us. A glimpse into his view of perfection.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Questions
So Mike and I have had this discussion in the past week or so and just wanted to share. We are learning so many things about people with Down syndrome and what is politically correct and what might not be. The amazing Down sydrome Association of West Michigan is amazing and gave us this great binder when Owen was in the NICU with tons of information in it and I have been like a sponge lately with learning about Down syndrome and different interventions used that will help Owen develop as time goes on. So back to the initial thought. Mike and I want people to know that while we are learning a lot quickly we are still learning. However we want people to feel open to ask us questions. Send us a message or post a comment here and we will do our best to answer.
On a different note, this week is the first time since I went on bed rest 7 weeks ago that I am starting to feel like we are all settling in and balancing out. the kids have been through a whole lot in less than two months and I have watched Paige and Blake transform into this tag team. Before they would fight against each other and now they are joining up to take on Mike and I together. Cute huh? It is to me sometimes because it lets me see that they are watching out for one another and I know they will do the same for Owen. :)
On a different note, this week is the first time since I went on bed rest 7 weeks ago that I am starting to feel like we are all settling in and balancing out. the kids have been through a whole lot in less than two months and I have watched Paige and Blake transform into this tag team. Before they would fight against each other and now they are joining up to take on Mike and I together. Cute huh? It is to me sometimes because it lets me see that they are watching out for one another and I know they will do the same for Owen. :)
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Owen's Birth Story Part 2
So to set the scene. I am pretty sure at this point everyone except Paige and Blake and I was crying. It is hard to describe what everyone was feeling and I cannot even begin to explain it. I do remember telling people they needed to hold it together for our kids. We needed to be happy for our kids and to be honest, at this point I did feel very at peace with Owen's diagnosis. I was more upset that he was being transferred to another hospital but wanted to do what was best for our son.
So the NICU transport team came into my room and explained how he would be transferred in this amazing vehicle that HDVCH had just started using and you should have seen this incubater they had put him in. They handed him to me, I kissed him. I looked him over and I smelled him. I told Mike I just needed to smell the boy who was part of both of us. I love that smell! And then I called Paige over and she asked why and I told her she needed to hold her brother before he went. That she had been waiting a long time for him and that she should hold him before he left. She did and it was beautiful, still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. She handed him back and I handed him into the arms of strangers who were going to be taking care of our baby boy. Still God held me together.
It was at this point that I think we all knew that it was time to close out the day. The kids needed to get to bed and we all needed our own way of dealing with what had just happened. So we all said our good byes and then there was just Mike and I.
We had decided we needed to be with one another that night, we knew Owen would be taken care of until the morning but we needed to cry, and hug and hold and pray. And we did. We talked about our fears and then our hopes. Would be ever be just the two of us again? How would this affect our other kids? What if he had more diagnosis' than having Down sydrome? Would he want to play sports? How awesome of a Michigan fan would he be? What was he going to teach us about pure love? Did God really have the much confidence in us? And this is what we came up with......
We just need to LOVE him. The rest will fall into place and God's will always does. It may not always be easy, but God never promised constant smooth sailing. It was then and there that I feel like God really opened our hearts to this wonderful gift that was Owen. That is who he would be, young fighter and well born, Owen Michael. We would be proud, Mike beams if you ask him about his son, as much as he has for our other two. And God gave me intuitions in my pregnancy so that I was prepared to open my heart and head to this wonderful gift, and I would be at peace. So we decided, we will love him, just like Paige and Blake. We would accept this gift and be thankful for it.
So the NICU transport team came into my room and explained how he would be transferred in this amazing vehicle that HDVCH had just started using and you should have seen this incubater they had put him in. They handed him to me, I kissed him. I looked him over and I smelled him. I told Mike I just needed to smell the boy who was part of both of us. I love that smell! And then I called Paige over and she asked why and I told her she needed to hold her brother before he went. That she had been waiting a long time for him and that she should hold him before he left. She did and it was beautiful, still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. She handed him back and I handed him into the arms of strangers who were going to be taking care of our baby boy. Still God held me together.
It was at this point that I think we all knew that it was time to close out the day. The kids needed to get to bed and we all needed our own way of dealing with what had just happened. So we all said our good byes and then there was just Mike and I.
We had decided we needed to be with one another that night, we knew Owen would be taken care of until the morning but we needed to cry, and hug and hold and pray. And we did. We talked about our fears and then our hopes. Would be ever be just the two of us again? How would this affect our other kids? What if he had more diagnosis' than having Down sydrome? Would he want to play sports? How awesome of a Michigan fan would he be? What was he going to teach us about pure love? Did God really have the much confidence in us? And this is what we came up with......
We just need to LOVE him. The rest will fall into place and God's will always does. It may not always be easy, but God never promised constant smooth sailing. It was then and there that I feel like God really opened our hearts to this wonderful gift that was Owen. That is who he would be, young fighter and well born, Owen Michael. We would be proud, Mike beams if you ask him about his son, as much as he has for our other two. And God gave me intuitions in my pregnancy so that I was prepared to open my heart and head to this wonderful gift, and I would be at peace. So we decided, we will love him, just like Paige and Blake. We would accept this gift and be thankful for it.
Owen's Birth Story Part 1
Hello All,
I know a lot of people are curious about the details of Owen's birth and diagnosis and I thought this might be a quicker route to tell people than any other way......
Let me first say how incredibly thankful we are for all the thoughts, prayers, meals, childcare offers and everyone who has been loving on our kids. And to our family and friends who have been awesome with doing laundry, making sure we don't have to think about anything but how all 3 of our kids are doing!
Mike and quite a few of our family and friends are just learning about things I felt in my heart from the very beginning of Owen's pregnancy. I will preface this by saying God has always known I needed a smack across the back of my head and a very vivid picture of things to actually get it. The fact that Mike and I had agreed not to have any more children the month I got pregnant with Owen is the first step. We were shocked to say the least and kinda freaking out. To us our lives were well rounded......house, good job, one of each sex kids who honestly look like both of us and we love that! As we were letting this sink in God gave me my first vivid dream about Owen, he would to be a boy! These dreams have never been wrong with gender and our other kids. In my heart I just knew.
Once the news sank in and we were getting excited I was bleeding and there was a high risk I would lose this baby, as unexpected as this pregnancy was, I clung! I had uterine bleeding which miraculously stopped, Owen's body started to cover the place where I was bleeding and we were hopeful and things ended up turning around. At around 11 weeks God placed it on my heart that the baby I was carrying would have something "wrong". I feel bad even saying wrong because I don't feel like he has anything wrong with him. I just felt like he would be different than Paige and Blake. I only told this to my mom and sisters who thought I might be kind of crazy. Hey, sometimes I am. ;)
I was having some contractions at 18 weeks and my amazing, and I mean beyond anything you can imagine amazing, Dr. knew to ease my mind and his, an ultrasound would be a good idea. Oh baby was I excited! I went by myself, and yes I did find out that Owen was in fact a boy. I knew Mike would be ecstatic! I felt like I needed to know his gender to really connect with him. As she was doing the scan I kept asking if his proportions we measuring ok. She said to her he looked perfect. His heart, brain and other organs looked perfect. She gave me some pics to show off and sent off the report. Got the call, perfectly healthy baby, cervix was great and things were exactly how they should be. Again I did not tell Mike that I thought his profile looked off to me but did tell my mom and sisters who again, said Amy, you have 2 healthy kids, you are young and the Dr. and radiologist said this baby looks perfect. At this point I began to question my instincts but felt like this baby and I needed to stick together (did we have a choice :) and God would carry us wherever He took us. Honestly, as much as Mike and I had grown into the idea of a 3rd baby I was nervous to tell him my concerns, he thinks I am a nut with my crazy intuitions sometimes. So again kept it to myself.
Skip ahead, we had our "big" ultrasound at this point since we would be able to see better brain development and cardiac activity. Again perfect baby, active and healthy. So now I am really questioning myself.
I as having high blood pressure for a while at this point and shortly there after was put on bed rest to keep things in check. Still active baby and I was passing all my NST's.
At about 32 weeks I had a very vivid dream that this baby would be born on March 18, and I mean vivid. I saw the digits in my dream and I woke up and told Mike who said, yeah Amy, we'll see. :)
March 18.....NST was not looking great. Dr. Dykstra and Dr. DeWitt came and saw me while I was having my test and said I had until end of office hours (4:30) to have baby shape up. 3:15 came and the nurse said, alright make your calls, today is the day. Ok God, March 18 it is. I didn't get the sappy good bye with my older kids, no hospital bag and my husband literally walked in to change into scrubs with 3 minutes to spare before we went into our csection. Owen was a butt breech baby. I was shaking! This was it, my feelings and intuitions were either going to be confirmed or denied. Csection was very routine. I was so thankful to have Dr. Dykstra there, it was such a comfort that my own dr. could help with this delivery. Owen came out! Mike was of course ecstatic with a boy, and I was too! The room got quiet, we heard him cry and then people got quiet. Mike said he was pinking up and I thought, ok Amy you were crazy! They would say right away if something was wrong. Nurse Julie brought him around and Mike laid him next to me. I knew! I asked Mike to please show me his face again and again. I looked at Mike and I said, Mike, he is down syndrome. Mike literally looked at me and said, you are joking right? I said, I am sorry but I am not. I looked at Julie and said, is he down syndrome. I don't know she said, I did. Mike kissed me and left with Julie, the pediatrician and Owen. They said they wanted to get him in a warmer. OK, breathe I said. Just breathe. Tears fell, I laid while they tied my tubes and finished up. Dr. Dykstra came from around the curtain after he helped close and said congrats, I am going to go up and check him out. Again I knew, I knew what his eyes were telling me without seeing the rest of his face. GGGRRRRR then I got irritated. I laid in recovery shaking and kept saying, please bring me upstairs I need to see my son and husband. 40 minutes later, still shaking they brought me up. Mike opened the door to my room, I looked in his eyes and didn't have to ask. I looked straight at him and said, I know and it's going to be ok. He lost it. I said what did they say. He told me he asked Dr. Lirio if our son was down syndrome or was his wife crazy? SEE, told ya I can be crazy. Answer.....there are signs. He has extra neck skin, he has only one bend line in his hands, his eyes are wider set. Literally we blew Mike out of the park. I told him I was so sorry that we had a 3rd baby, somehow this was my fault and I should not have even said anything in the OR. Again he wept. Grabbed my face and said never tell me again that this is anyone's fault, never ever Amy, ever! Bless the man who God gave to me. At this point people has started to call us for the good news. Dr. Dykstra came in sat down and I said it's ok I already know. I cannot tell you how many time I have been asked since Monday, how would you know that, all the scans were normal, his heart strong, and honestly he did not look very different than Paige or Blake. I told him how I had thought something was off at the 18 week ultrasound but I didn't tell anyone but my mom and sisters. I am going to keep private the rest of our conversation, but I will say it again. If anyone had to come in that room and share this news with us, I wanted it to be him. I told Mike God could not have known I needed John there more at that moment than any time else.
Skip ahead, they told us they had to send him downtown to make sure some of the shaking he was having was not seizures. Again, breathe Amy, just breathe. God loves your son more than you ever could. Phone calls were made, our kids were ecstatic and our family's were shocked. I told Mike Owen was not to leave the hospital until Paige and Blake saw him. They were on there way. I wondered how hard this would be! Peace beyond understanding, that is all I can say to explain it. I have never seen Mike so torn and God's grace so full and with me and I did not shed a tear while the kids were there. The kids were not supposed to go into the nursery. I was mad! My kids were going to see their brother. I could not get out of bed but our kids would love on their brother before he left.
To be continued.......
I know a lot of people are curious about the details of Owen's birth and diagnosis and I thought this might be a quicker route to tell people than any other way......
Let me first say how incredibly thankful we are for all the thoughts, prayers, meals, childcare offers and everyone who has been loving on our kids. And to our family and friends who have been awesome with doing laundry, making sure we don't have to think about anything but how all 3 of our kids are doing!
Mike and quite a few of our family and friends are just learning about things I felt in my heart from the very beginning of Owen's pregnancy. I will preface this by saying God has always known I needed a smack across the back of my head and a very vivid picture of things to actually get it. The fact that Mike and I had agreed not to have any more children the month I got pregnant with Owen is the first step. We were shocked to say the least and kinda freaking out. To us our lives were well rounded......house, good job, one of each sex kids who honestly look like both of us and we love that! As we were letting this sink in God gave me my first vivid dream about Owen, he would to be a boy! These dreams have never been wrong with gender and our other kids. In my heart I just knew.
Once the news sank in and we were getting excited I was bleeding and there was a high risk I would lose this baby, as unexpected as this pregnancy was, I clung! I had uterine bleeding which miraculously stopped, Owen's body started to cover the place where I was bleeding and we were hopeful and things ended up turning around. At around 11 weeks God placed it on my heart that the baby I was carrying would have something "wrong". I feel bad even saying wrong because I don't feel like he has anything wrong with him. I just felt like he would be different than Paige and Blake. I only told this to my mom and sisters who thought I might be kind of crazy. Hey, sometimes I am. ;)
I was having some contractions at 18 weeks and my amazing, and I mean beyond anything you can imagine amazing, Dr. knew to ease my mind and his, an ultrasound would be a good idea. Oh baby was I excited! I went by myself, and yes I did find out that Owen was in fact a boy. I knew Mike would be ecstatic! I felt like I needed to know his gender to really connect with him. As she was doing the scan I kept asking if his proportions we measuring ok. She said to her he looked perfect. His heart, brain and other organs looked perfect. She gave me some pics to show off and sent off the report. Got the call, perfectly healthy baby, cervix was great and things were exactly how they should be. Again I did not tell Mike that I thought his profile looked off to me but did tell my mom and sisters who again, said Amy, you have 2 healthy kids, you are young and the Dr. and radiologist said this baby looks perfect. At this point I began to question my instincts but felt like this baby and I needed to stick together (did we have a choice :) and God would carry us wherever He took us. Honestly, as much as Mike and I had grown into the idea of a 3rd baby I was nervous to tell him my concerns, he thinks I am a nut with my crazy intuitions sometimes. So again kept it to myself.
Skip ahead, we had our "big" ultrasound at this point since we would be able to see better brain development and cardiac activity. Again perfect baby, active and healthy. So now I am really questioning myself.
I as having high blood pressure for a while at this point and shortly there after was put on bed rest to keep things in check. Still active baby and I was passing all my NST's.
At about 32 weeks I had a very vivid dream that this baby would be born on March 18, and I mean vivid. I saw the digits in my dream and I woke up and told Mike who said, yeah Amy, we'll see. :)
March 18.....NST was not looking great. Dr. Dykstra and Dr. DeWitt came and saw me while I was having my test and said I had until end of office hours (4:30) to have baby shape up. 3:15 came and the nurse said, alright make your calls, today is the day. Ok God, March 18 it is. I didn't get the sappy good bye with my older kids, no hospital bag and my husband literally walked in to change into scrubs with 3 minutes to spare before we went into our csection. Owen was a butt breech baby. I was shaking! This was it, my feelings and intuitions were either going to be confirmed or denied. Csection was very routine. I was so thankful to have Dr. Dykstra there, it was such a comfort that my own dr. could help with this delivery. Owen came out! Mike was of course ecstatic with a boy, and I was too! The room got quiet, we heard him cry and then people got quiet. Mike said he was pinking up and I thought, ok Amy you were crazy! They would say right away if something was wrong. Nurse Julie brought him around and Mike laid him next to me. I knew! I asked Mike to please show me his face again and again. I looked at Mike and I said, Mike, he is down syndrome. Mike literally looked at me and said, you are joking right? I said, I am sorry but I am not. I looked at Julie and said, is he down syndrome. I don't know she said, I did. Mike kissed me and left with Julie, the pediatrician and Owen. They said they wanted to get him in a warmer. OK, breathe I said. Just breathe. Tears fell, I laid while they tied my tubes and finished up. Dr. Dykstra came from around the curtain after he helped close and said congrats, I am going to go up and check him out. Again I knew, I knew what his eyes were telling me without seeing the rest of his face. GGGRRRRR then I got irritated. I laid in recovery shaking and kept saying, please bring me upstairs I need to see my son and husband. 40 minutes later, still shaking they brought me up. Mike opened the door to my room, I looked in his eyes and didn't have to ask. I looked straight at him and said, I know and it's going to be ok. He lost it. I said what did they say. He told me he asked Dr. Lirio if our son was down syndrome or was his wife crazy? SEE, told ya I can be crazy. Answer.....there are signs. He has extra neck skin, he has only one bend line in his hands, his eyes are wider set. Literally we blew Mike out of the park. I told him I was so sorry that we had a 3rd baby, somehow this was my fault and I should not have even said anything in the OR. Again he wept. Grabbed my face and said never tell me again that this is anyone's fault, never ever Amy, ever! Bless the man who God gave to me. At this point people has started to call us for the good news. Dr. Dykstra came in sat down and I said it's ok I already know. I cannot tell you how many time I have been asked since Monday, how would you know that, all the scans were normal, his heart strong, and honestly he did not look very different than Paige or Blake. I told him how I had thought something was off at the 18 week ultrasound but I didn't tell anyone but my mom and sisters. I am going to keep private the rest of our conversation, but I will say it again. If anyone had to come in that room and share this news with us, I wanted it to be him. I told Mike God could not have known I needed John there more at that moment than any time else.
Skip ahead, they told us they had to send him downtown to make sure some of the shaking he was having was not seizures. Again, breathe Amy, just breathe. God loves your son more than you ever could. Phone calls were made, our kids were ecstatic and our family's were shocked. I told Mike Owen was not to leave the hospital until Paige and Blake saw him. They were on there way. I wondered how hard this would be! Peace beyond understanding, that is all I can say to explain it. I have never seen Mike so torn and God's grace so full and with me and I did not shed a tear while the kids were there. The kids were not supposed to go into the nursery. I was mad! My kids were going to see their brother. I could not get out of bed but our kids would love on their brother before he left.
To be continued.......
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