If you start to feel a breeze while reading this don't panic! It's just me venting up a storm.
I told Mike to tonight I was weary to which he logically responded, why don't you go to bed then? In which I struck back with, I'm not tired, I am weary. I used to think these two were the same as well. They go hand in hand right? Not to me, at least not anymore.
Tired to me means lack of sleep, slight fatigue etc. Weary, my friends, is a whole nother level.
I am spent, at the end of my rope, burning the candle at both ends. You get the picture.
I am losing it with my kids, my husband sometimes strangers that might cross my path in the car or in line somewhere (though not yelling, just fuming on the inside. ) My family is walking on egg shells around me, yeah makes me feel even crappier writing it.
I try, oh how I try to lay in bed every morning and pray, God today please give me the patience and grace to get through this day. Give me the words and actions that please you and give you the glory. Why then do I feel like most days my world is spinning off it's axis? Like I am one more whine out of my children's mouths before I snap? And better yet, why the whining? Do I need to take them somewhere and show them how much they really have? I had the thought this week...what are we doing? How are they turning into these little people that want and want and want? And then I feel like I am failing. They should not be this way. This is not how God expects me to raise my children. But how do I change this?! I am weary!!!!
I walked around Target trying to come up with some ideas I can give people to give to them for Christmas and you know what I came up with? They have enough, we have enough and then some!
I am weary of this world. I crave my Savior and perfection and the love of my Heavenly Father and I am striving for it. I am weary of trying to find the time and struggling to do it.
And now I sit here annoyed with myself because I have such an amazing life and all these great things and I still feel so very weary.
So no I am not tired. I am weary of life at the moment and honestly I wish I could get out of this slump but I am struggling. There I put it out there. Welcome to my open book. Praying the next chapter is a little more uplifting!
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
We Stepped up for Down syndrome!
So this past Saturday we participated in our local Step up for Down syndrome walk. It was held at Millenium Park, which is beautiful by the way. Friends and family joined us and we raised $2700! Mike's company matched all donations from other employees and that alone raised $1200, yay Charter!
Saturday morning as I was getting Owen dressed and he laid on the floor giggling every time I said Mama to him I got a little teary. 6 months ago I would have never guessed that I would be as excited as I was to go to this walk. I have know about this walk for years and thought what a nice way to raise some money and take a little stroll. My eyes were really opened on Saturday. I have never felt uncomfortable around someone with Down syndrome and to me Owen is just a baby. Saturday as we got out of the car and began walking to the registration table I could not stop smiling. You see this walk is not just for young families with small kids. It is for people with Down syndrome of all ages. It is not like a lot of other walks that is raising money for a cure, we don't want a cure. It is a complete celebration of the culture that is the Down syndrome community. There were babies all the way up to adults with Down syndrome. Their friends and families were there to celebrate the individuals they are and how amazing their lives can be!
I have to say my favorite part was the dancing. There was a dance company that came and those people were so focused and fun with their moves. There was a kid that was standing near where we were that was feeling every single beat of the music without embarrassment that people were watching. He was egging people on to join in and dance. I want to be that way! I am so excited for next year when Owen is a little older and he can join in by clapping.
All in all it was a wonderful day and the only down side was that Paige was sick so my mom graciously stayed home with her. Next year!
Thank you again for all of your love and support and if you want, join us next year!!!
Saturday morning as I was getting Owen dressed and he laid on the floor giggling every time I said Mama to him I got a little teary. 6 months ago I would have never guessed that I would be as excited as I was to go to this walk. I have know about this walk for years and thought what a nice way to raise some money and take a little stroll. My eyes were really opened on Saturday. I have never felt uncomfortable around someone with Down syndrome and to me Owen is just a baby. Saturday as we got out of the car and began walking to the registration table I could not stop smiling. You see this walk is not just for young families with small kids. It is for people with Down syndrome of all ages. It is not like a lot of other walks that is raising money for a cure, we don't want a cure. It is a complete celebration of the culture that is the Down syndrome community. There were babies all the way up to adults with Down syndrome. Their friends and families were there to celebrate the individuals they are and how amazing their lives can be!
I have to say my favorite part was the dancing. There was a dance company that came and those people were so focused and fun with their moves. There was a kid that was standing near where we were that was feeling every single beat of the music without embarrassment that people were watching. He was egging people on to join in and dance. I want to be that way! I am so excited for next year when Owen is a little older and he can join in by clapping.
All in all it was a wonderful day and the only down side was that Paige was sick so my mom graciously stayed home with her. Next year!
Thank you again for all of your love and support and if you want, join us next year!!!
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